I have found beauty and the true meaning of love

The road ha come to an end and as much as it hurts to think that I leave tomorrow I have found a new beginning. Last night I was on my knees and prayed to have one last heatfelt experience. I know Heavenly Father is there for me because what I experienced today has changed me for good. Coming to India I knew I would have a great time and be able to offer a helping hand. I did not expect to feel all of these unexpected feelings and have a life changing outlook. Today we went to one last colony with all the volunteers and staff. There were only six members of this colony and they were the poorest out of all we have seen. The moment I stepped off the bus I would not have guessed that in a few moments I would be overwhelmed and very moved.
I immediately hugged and kissed the faces of these beautfiul people and they were so happy to see us. There was a man sitting on a little seat with wheels that were worn thin. He had no fingers left but such an optimistic attitude. He would scoot on his seat and wipe his sweat with a rag that was draped over his shoulder.

Another woman in brightly dressed clothes grabbed everyone and began kissing our faces, while grabbing our cheeks.
Later I looked down to find a 30 year old woman, who looked much older, with one eye left and zero percent body fat. She had such a beautiful smile. When she got up to walk I noticed she was walking on her hands and one foot. I was overwhelmed and tears began to stream down my face.

The whole time I have been in India I have had had many moments where I was choked up but did well to hold back the tears. Today I could not hold it back and let them flow down my cheeks. There was another man who was the happiest man I have met since being here and he had such a spunky personality. He sang, danced, and spoke all the english he knew. He called himself the Master!

We turned on music and began to dance with everyone there, which was so fun for them. They caught on and would do what they were capable of doing. The man sitting on the seat found a bucket and we gave him a spoon to play it as a drum. It was like a dance party in the village as a small family.

Their faces were so bright and they did not sit there and feel sorry for themselves. The man on the seat had no fingers but hit that drum the remainder of the time we were there. I sat back after dancing and just watched each person. I had to hide behind Matthew because I couldn't stop crying. I looked over to see the man on the seat trying to push himself with his paw like hands and then he looked at them because they were dirty and scuffed up. His friend brought out these little shoes to put on his hands. We all just sat and enjoyed each others company while listening to music and I was so moved.
It would be so easy for these people to just sit and give up on enjoying life. The nurses handed them medicene and I notcied they had caps on them. I always feel bad asking people to do things for me but here they have no choice and are compleletely helpless. This does not stop them from giving up or showing off their beautfiul smiles. They offer their chairs to us and to me this simple task says a lot about the type of people they are. I know I will try my best to never complain about anything because I know if I was affected with the conditions that they were it would be hard to be as happy as they were. I learn something from these people everyday and really look up to them so much.

As we left I put in my ipod and just stared out the window....yes tears were still coming. ha Geez, get a grip I know! I have found it funny that in the past when I listen to music and it is about love I would think about a certain someone or when I may find that person. Every song I listened to that had to do with love, the people of India and the children I have met were the ones coming to my mind. I really do not want to leave and I have been able to love more than I ever imagined. This place is full of beautiful people who do everything they can to get from one day to the next. I will miss seeing the women in the fields with brightly colored clothing folding palm leaves or washing their clothes in the lakes. The faces of these people are engraved in my head and the culture that they cherish so much. Driving through the villages and seeing everyone wave makes me smile every time. The resources that we have in America make our lives so easy and I know I have taken it for granted. I never thought I would miss bucket showers and eating on banana leaves but I really will.
When we arrived back at our home we painted the wall for other volunteers to see. Each session will have the same oppurtunity to paint their own thing on the wall. Since we were the first session we chose to say, "Foundation for Tomorrow!"


I ran over to play with the children because I knew the moments were running low. Today was perfect and so much fun! We played on the playground and did a hands up stands up contest. Sure enough I ripped a whole in my pants and the kids found that hilarious! "Auntie!" and they pointed and laughed. I ran to go change and began to play frisbee with two boys and soccer with Anarasan. I want to mention that I was multi tasking which I have never been good at. I would kick the soccer ball to Anarasan then throw the frisbee; back and forth it went. It actually worked out really well! A couple of the boys came and sat down next to me and asked if I was leaving to America tomorrow. I said yes and they wanted to know when I would be coming back. I didn't even want to think about it. I am having a hard time because I feel I have finally established a meaningful bond with the children and I have to say goodbye. Anarasan ran up to me before they went to go eat and held up our sign then kissed me on the lips!
While the children ate dinner the volunteers came back to pack and get ready to say goodbye to the children. I thought the day could not have been any more emotional but I was wrong. We did not have much time with the children which was good because I hate saying goodbye and to drag it out makes it much worse. I took a deep breathe and walked in to the room and Nagaraj came up to me and said, "Eliza here are my pictures of Jesus." The tears came rushing down my cheeks as I stared at 2 large portraits of Christ and Nagaraj smiling as he showed me. He asked to take a picture and then all of the children ran over to me to see why I was crying.


Every single child told me to stop crying and hugged me without letting go. I don't think they realized that it did not make the situation any better. The housemother pulled me into another room and asked why I was crying. I informed her that I was sad to leave and loved her dearly. She started to get teary eyed and said I will pray for you right now. Next thing I knew we were on the floor kneeling and she gave a long prayer in Hindi. I opened my eyes to find every child kneeled down next to me folding their arms. To see that was the most powerful experience I have ever felt and their love rushed through my body. It was the most beautiful prayer and she was so kind to give a part of herself to me. Everyone came in for a group hug and we continued to take pictures.

My eyes were obviously swollen from what had just happened.
My favorite part was while I was kneeling on the floor trying to pull myself together and each child would come kiss me and say they loved me. It was amazing that they knew what was happening and we all promised to pray for each other every night. The way they stared into my eyes as I was crying was with deep concern and a need to make everything better. One boy who is usually very shy and never says much came to me from across the room and just wrapped his arms around me; he did not let go. I still continue to cry as I write this last blog and feel that today has been a miracle. These children will forever be a huge part of my life. They taught me more than I could have ever taught myself. Everyday I went to bed in awe for the blessings I have been given and the people in my life.



Tonight for our last event we are all dressed up in saris and had a huge dinner at our hostel with all of the volunteers. I had a housemother put mine on and as I walked out all the kids said, "ahh!" I gave them one last goodbye and left. Putting on this sari made me feel like a Princess who would not rather be anywhere else. Even though I still do not have any make up and air dryed hair I felt on top of the world.


We ate dinner and shared our experiences with each other the rest of the night. Many of us were moved by the things that were said and what stood out to particular people.
My time in India has shown me how to touch people who were untouchable.

Something that I want to bring back with me is remembering to seek and open my eyes to those around me; letting them know they are loved. A girl tonight shared her feelings and explained how when we were getting off the bus at the Taj Mahal out of the corner of her eye she saw a teenager who was bent over walking on his hands while his leg dragged behind. Amazing how someone who is so close to the ground it became easy to overlook him. He was made invisible by the visibilty of his appearace. A simple gesture like this and asking how they are may change someone for good or give them the strength to keep living life the best they can.
Amy, who is over Rising Star, told us to leave our blood, sweat, and tears behind when we left here. I know that I have done this and my sweat is literally in the soil of India. I hope I have created a foundation of love for the people I have come in contact with here. India is not about the land but about the people who make it what it is. Charity and loving others is not about buying gifts but simply bringing all of yourself to the table and loving them. In doing this you will find the true meaning of love within yourself. I know I have felt this love from them and once you feel it you will never be the same. This is the real world out here in India. This trip has been filled with beauty and I feel liberated. There is something about this place that helped me step out of the chaos of my own world.

Tonight is is lightning outside and the rain is pouring down so hard. Listening to the thunder from outside my window I think about when I first arrived to India. At first I felt compressed by the pain and wounds my eyes saw when I first came here. These wounds and affections these people had I now do not notice. I have learned moments have everything to do with people and really taking a look deep down inside of them. There is a child that lies within each of us no matter our outward appearance. We are all in a world looking underneath the same sky and for me that reminds me that we are all one. I hope I never forget that within everyone lies a struggle of some sort or another and with a little love and awareness we all change for the better.
"Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can-there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did" -Sarah Caldwell
"Every moment is made glorious by the light of love" -Jalal

Thank you for everyone who has taken the time to read my blog while I was on this journey. Your comments and prayers have been felt out here and I love each one of you! I am so grateful to have shared this experience with my cousin Matthew and the chance we had to become very close. He has taught me so much by his example and willingness to always help. I love him and look up to him so much for the gentleman he is. I loved getting to know Audrey and the personality she brought to this experience.